Seymour Totti’s Foreign Policy

Women are from Venus

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I was delighted to learn, via the good offices of ananova.com, that randy couples are queuing up to blow their hard earned wad on astral nookie.

Will Whitehorn, president of Virgin Galactic, said the group had been inundated with enquiries from couples hoping to make history. “One got in touch about a charter flight so they could be the first to have intercourse in space and get in the Guinness Book of Records.” He said

Having sex in zero gravity does sound like fun. But so does having sex in a hammock and having sex in the sea and I’ve tried both of those. Neither was easy and you have to be really determined to persevere.

In zero gravity the challenge would be even greater. You’d need some kind of climbing frame dealie to hang on to so as to anchor yourselves for the thrust

And you’d each need some Velcro on the pubic bone because if it slips out you could be stabbing around in the firmament for ages trying to re-dock.

Personally I’d be more interested to know if there is intelligent life out there … and whether it’s females are cute.

See also: A shag in a hammock

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One of the seventies best loved posters is on sale again. This time for a princely UK£300. This edition of the picture that soothed the early morning erections of many a student is available as a limited edition canvas print measuring 60cm x 80cm.

The photo was taken in 1976 by Martin Elliott and features 18-year-old Fiona Butler, his girlfriend at the time. Not, as many rumours have suggested, a male or transvestite.

My first thought was that they are hoping to sell it to exactly the same people that bought it 30-years ago but apparently it is something of a collectors item on e-bay. The edition is signed numbered and limited to a run of 1,850.

You can buy the poster online: Pyramid Posters
Interview with model: Fiona Butler

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I’ve never worn diapers, well not since I was a baby anyway, and I’ve never really considered them as erotic fun wear … either for me or my partner. But there are people that do, especially in Japan.

Diaper fetish sites are not new though most of them just look like adult models dressed up. They don’t convince me and personally I don’t find them particularly erotic.

Japan’s Bebigyaru, on the other hand, brings an otaku/manga/cosplay sensibility to the pictures. These do convince me. I haven’t decided if I find them erotic yet but they do fascinate. They have a surreal quality that challenges the libido by offering a sexually desirable woman in a context that isn’t sexual. Though the cartoon like style does make them look vulnerable.

Fortunately none of the diapers appear to have been used for what they were intended but I would imagine it’s only a matter of time. Already there are several factions with the diaper loving fraternity.

There are some that like the models to do the whole baby thing and others that just like to see grown women wearing them. And of course a good many admirers like to wear them too.
Visit website Bebigyaru

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Romania: Having already brought five children into the world Nicolae Popovici and his wife decided enough was enough. Time to get serious about contraception.

And serious they got. They invested in a nice comfortable super-sized condom. Unfortunately it was a bit too super-sized so to help it stay in place Nicolae super-glued it to his cock.

The super-glue, you’ll be pleased to note, lived up to all it’s manufacturers claims. Thus having reached their own private nirvana they returned to earth to find the condom had stuck fast.

They repaired to the local clinic for assistance where one of the nurses told Associated Press; “He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end.”

Our Model, Tussinee, has nothing to do with the story I just thought you might like to look at her.

See also: A girl like Tussinee

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I’ve been working on a review of popular condoms recently, it will be published here in due course.

Now there are just to many to do a really exhaustive survey so I’ve decided to omit all the special effect varieties, you know, the textured and the flavoured. They may be worth a post in their own right at some point in the future.

There is another type which I won’t include in the main survey but I thought I’d tell you about them now. Largely because it was the first time I’d ever tried them. These give you a tingling or warming sensation. I guessed they must be filled with the same types of herbs and oils that the respectable aromatherapy massage parlours use to sooth tired limbs all over Bangkok.

Now an old friend of mine, who sometimes hangs out at the Thermae Coffee shop and Bar, used to work in one of those parlours so I pocketed a packet of three and went off to look for her. She wasn’t hard to find. “Sawasdee ka, Khun Seymour.” She beamed. “Not see you long time.”
(continues here.., more pics too…)

Gratuitous smut, now read the story

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A new contraceptive injection for men that has been developed in Sydney is in danger of being shelved because pharmaceutical companies don’t seem very interested in making it available to the public. Whats more the Queensland government don’t seem very enthusiastic either.

Associate Professor Peter Liu, co-author of the integrated analysis study says, “My perception is that people want it but it seems to be that somehow that isn’t being heard at a government level. No one has really pushed this issue and I don’t know why that is. Sometimes, the Government doesn’t know what the community wants so the community has to tell them.”

Whether or not you’re an Australian citizen I highly recommend you contact the Queensland government on this issue. While the contraceptive is being developed in Australia its results could really help the entire planet.

Full Story: Contraceptive for men a shot in the arm

“Want to eat Chinese?”

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I read an intriguing article the other day on the basics of cunnilingus. It was written by a woman so I guess that is about as authoritative as you can get.

It did offer some interesting insights and I shall be happily trying them out but I have to confess, I don’t think I’ve ever met two women who like it the same way. You think you have it worked out, at least you know exactly what to do to get the girl you’re with into a delicious frenzy. But when you try the same techniques with another girl it leaves her cold … or you discover her clit is so sensitive you have to peel her off the ceiling. As the author says; “… the things women like and don’t like are as individual as women are. If something doesn’t get a positive response, move on and try something new.”

I always ask, it’s nothing to be ashamed of … asking I mean. Giving a woman satisfying head takes time and those old tongue muscles can’t go on forever. And when you’ve got a pair of thighs wrapped around your ears it’s sometimes difficult to tell the difference between a moan and a groan. Most women are only too happy to tell you or show you how they like to be touched, and they appreciate that you ask rather than going for trial and error.

There is only one piece of advice I’d like to add to the original article; get into a comfortable position before you start. You need to be able to move your head freely and you need to be able to get your fingers in there to take over when you get cramp in your tongue.

And remember the 69 position is without doubt a lovely position but it is only practical for a short while. If you actually did bring her to a climax in that position you might find that her thighs clamp tightly around your head and it could be several minutes before you are allowed to breathe again.